Approaching my
Mexican Home.
Transition is Hard.
Finding A Home is Even Harder

Approaching my Mexican Home. Liturgy of Life. Thoughts on Home and Transtion.

“I think I need to go,” I mumbled as sobs welled up from my throat. I hung up the phone.

“Are you okay Mama?” asked my little girl.

I am all right.  It is no major crisis, no one has died.

Last week my husband went to look for a place for us to live along the Texas/ Mexico border. He had just  called to tell me that he can’t find a house and we will move into an apartment. And while I have nothing against apartment living,  this means we will most likely have to move again within the year and  I will have to give up all my plants. I stare out the window at my Mealy Blue Sage which came from the countryside surrounding our last home,  a hummingbird zips down to feed in the flowers.

I know they are just plants but my container garden has been producing tomatoes for us over the past month  and others I have had for years, collecting a few from each of our previous homes. They are living memories of the places we have been and caring for them is sort of a therapy for me, a time to breathe fresh air, to touch something green and  to be reminded  that I have put down roots even if they don’t go deep.

This news comes as we prepare to move into our 7th home in the 7th new town in under 8 years. Our last move was 7 months ago (777, don’t know if that is good or bad luck?), before that it was 9 months.

Honestly we came to our decision to move to The Rio Grande Valley reluctantly. We had worked along the border in the past and had never intended to give it up. But life happened and we had been away for years now.  We loved the Texas Hill Country where we had been living, the small German towns felt established and sturdy, they gave us a sense of permanence which we longed for.

Of course we are now excited to be headed south, but we were certain our faithfulness in going back to this work would at least mean that God would provide us with amazing house at a great price.

We had been discouraged after the first week of looking brought us nothing.

A week later we tried again with lots of prospects but still nothing.

Michael was on his way home with an apartment in mind and I was devastated.

.    .    .

Through this journey I have begun to realize how much a “place” matters.

Like it or not our place, in many ways, defines us. We are either, Texans, or Ohioans, Americans or Mexicans, Yankee or Southerner. Sometimes it is where we don’t live that speaks more of who we are as in, expat, missionary, refugee or military. Or sometimes it is the heritage of a place like African-American, or Greek (my Yiayia who was born and raised in the US to this day refers to herself and our whole family as Greek and to the rest of the country as Americans).

And now I long for a land of that feels like my own.  I want to be from somewhere and to be connected.

Wandering, while sometimes necessary, is exhausting.

I recognize too that our recent transiency may be just the preparation I needed to get excited to settle down even if it is in the land of 90 degrees at Christmas and year long mosquitoes. And maybe even more importantly it may help me to  understand life on the border, a place of constant transition,  where leaving your home to go to a dangerous and unfamiliar land is the norm.

.    .     .

At 10 o’clock that night we got an email. One of the houses was available. On the first pass it was a plain house, nothing to get excited about, not a single tree in the yard.

But it did have a yard. My plants would come.

We received this small unremarkable house as a great gift.

Once again God had to hold my head under water to help me realize that I am grateful for air.

And I am grateful, oh so grateful.

We will be en route this week. Keep us in your prayers.

I’ll leave you with a song, one of our favorites as we have prepared for this journey.

 

Mexican Home, John Prine Liturgy of Life, moving to the border
Mexican Home, John Prine

8 Comments

  • Shannon Reply

    So, so thankful your plants get to come. You are amazing and I’m honored to be your friend.

    • egjarrett Reply

      Thanks Shannon. Me too. Michael was so confused at first as to why I was so upset. It worked out well though, the plants really encouraged us to keep looking for a better fit and in the end I think the house we are going to be in is a great fit. So grateful for your friendship. I don’t know that I would really be writing half of this stuff if I wasn’t following you in your blog!

  • Courtney Reply

    Oh Erica, this lament is so beautiful. And to see God’s grace at the end. You are a faithful pilgrim and such an encouragement to me. Thank you for sharing your heart. I will be praying this week.

    • egjarrett Reply

      Thanks Courtney, I’m glad I was able to explain how I was feeling in a way that made sense and that others could relate to. God is good and though we have a lot of unknowns we don’t lack anything right now, we need to just keep remembering that. We leave on Thursday thanks for your prayers.

  • Rebecca Reply

    Erica I am so glad that things worked out the way they did with the house. I was in tears for you and your family, because I understand the feeling of needing to feel like you’re from somewhere. Like you belong. Its so hard to take the leap of faith sometimes, and no matter how much we pray and talk to God, we’re all human, and we sometimes forget the little things and how much we depend on Him. I hope that all goes well for you and your family this week, we love you!!

    • egjarrett Reply

      Thanks Becca, I know you have moved a lot too. It is such a balancing act, I love all the places we have been, I don’t regret a single move but it just gets wearisome at the same time. Living one day at a time is so important, we tend to just get too far ahead of ourselves. God has met all our needs I just need to stop forgetting it. So glad to know y’all and hope we see y’all again one of these days. Excited to see what your next steps are too!

    • egjarrett Reply

      Thanks Tamara, it was a bit of a roller coaster there for a while. The house we ended up with is great, it has been such a blessing to be in this space, lots of light and very peaceful. Now to figure out what else God wants us to do down here.

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